Need a character for your story, play, movie and/or erotic fiction? NO PROBLEM!

Your character is an urban prodigy who wants to steal an infamous teen but is blocked in this desire by a meat clone who wants to create a competing jerk but is blocked in this desire by a fruit lawyer who wants to sex up a meaty dog but is blocked in this desire by a meat terrorist who wants to steal an infamous spouse but is blocked in this desire by a licensed loner who wants to get over a wide-eyed family but is blocked in this desire by a sex head of state who wants to destroy an infamous dog but is blocked in this desire by a gerrymandering.

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Inspired by the following comic: http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2216